SO It's common knowledge at this point that Tim Burton is directing the most recent adaption of Alice in Wonderland.

Fuck that shit.

Seriously, the source material has been done to death, I've seen at least 3 different movie adaptions, not to mention the fact that countless other films, books, and EVERY GOD DAMN SCENESTER references this movie all day every day. and honestly, could we be a little more obvious about who is going to make the (nth) adaption of this movie? Tim Burton. With out even knowing anything about it, I can tell you that Johnny Depp and Helana boham carter are both in it, and I am pretty sick of them being in every god damn movie ever. Seriously, Tim, surprise me with another Big Fish, or at least come out of left field with something like Planet of the Apes. Sure, it sucked really fucking hard, but it was totally unexpected. Or how about Mars Attacks? Some people don't even know that's a Tim Burton movie. Rad.

Next thing you know, he's going to be on direction for the final installment of Harry Potter. Both Harry and flashbacks of Dumbledor are going to be played by Johnny Depp, and helena bonham carter is... already in it! Well see, it's already half way to being a Tim Burton movie! All he has to do is drag poor Danny Elfman along to do a hackneyed ominous-yet-jovial score, and it's complete.
Although I've heard that Stephan Fry is going to be the Cheshire Cat, and I never tire of Stephan Fry.

Regardless, here's what I'd like to see.
Get somebody less Obvious, but still completely appropriate, to direct. Say, Guillermo del Toro, who did a smashing job with his masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth, as well as made both of the highly entertaining and visually stimulating Hellboy movies, and is also slated to do The Hobbit. I would also be more then okay with Tarsem Singh, who brought us The Cell and The Fall, both incredible films.
And why not Phillip Glass for the score? Danny Elfman is a poor man's Phillip Glass as it is, so let us tap into the master, shall we.

It's too late now, though. I'm sure that Tim Burton's will at the very least be good. Because Burton, as we all well know, is completely incapable of making a boring film with overused, over payed actors, taping into source material that has already been run bone dry for decades (cough splutter Sleepy Hollow).

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: aggravated

Dear Editor,
Whilst I and my compatriots were lollygagging around an area of our wonderful town that we affectionately refer to as “The Spot” (the park bench across the foot bridge from The Co-op) we were informed by a polite gentleman in uniform that the citizenry of Brattleboro were no longer allowed to, as it were, stop moving. We asked for clarification, and it boiled down to this; You are no longer allowed to stop and rest, for any reason, in downtown Brattleboro. You cannot stand in one place for any period of time, and you CANNOT sit on one of the many benches strewn conveniently about town for any period of time. We even threw out a couple of scenarios for the polite gentleman in uniform, so that we could better grasp the scale of this seemingly new and impromptu law, and he insisted that even a kind elderly lady could NOT take a break on one of the benches with out our friend the gentleman asking her to move along.
I support this fully.
In fact, I decree, nay, DEMAND that the town of Brattleboro spend preposterous sums of money removing all of the benches and chairs in town, including those large blocks of rock across from the transportation center. Further more, I find it would behoove the town of Brattleboro to tear up ALL of the sidewalks and install those fancy moving sidewalks like they have in airports, so that one would have to make an effort to stand still. And while they’re at it, I’d like some escalators too.
Quickly now, Brattleboro, lest someone desire to sit on a bench.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: aggravated

Android Floyd
was a good old boy
Who would never stop a beating heart

But the days went fast
Humanity passed
And Floyd silently fell apart.

Fun for the whole family
Cal Glover-Wessel

Earth: once a full and thriving civilized planet, full of people and new ideas, and now a wasteland…
Did I say wasteland? More like FUNland. That’s right, for less then it takes to buy your self a politician, you could see Earth, in all its glory.
SEE the mysterious ruins of New York City, Earth’s capital.
SEE the exhilarating flat plains of Kentucket. I know! Flat? what were they thinking!?
SEE the ancient Earthlings monuments to outdated concepts like “war” and “love” and “Washington”.
SEE the 9 foot by 7 foot patch of what’s left of the great “United Kingdom”.
SEE the remnants of the worldwide hostile take over of “The McDonalds”. Scary stuff, eh?
Wait, don’t go! Did I forget to tell you that if you pay for a vacation on Earth, you also get the moon? that’s right, the fucking moon! For one Earth day, you actually OWN the moon. Now, I know that an Earth day is only 12 standard hours, but for 12 hours YOU will OWN the MOON!
What about kids, you say? Not a problem, the Earth has been cleaned of all of the carcinogenic gasses and radiation that ran rampant all over the planet, and we have even gone so far as to file down the sharp edges, get rid of the pesky inhabitants, and clean up all of the rubble from their expulsion.
Say what? Oh, when did the earth become an uninhabited barren wasteland… well, if the cleaners get their job done on time (which you and me both know they rarely do) I’d say… in about an hour?
That’s right, Earth! Safer then Mars, less likely to explode then Jupiter, and cheaper then prison! Bring the whole family… TODAY!

Tags: adertisment, apcolyptic, earth, fiction, post, satire, science, short, story
Current Location: My room.
Current Music: Face of Death (spetsnaz remix)-Suicide Commando

You ready for some questions that you barely find in other surveys?
I seriously doubt that.

Is there a person that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess, and still feel comfy?
Sure is.

Would you be okay with your ex being friends with your good friends?
That’s up to my good friends.

Do you like where you live?
Yeah! Best little city in the world.

Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?
I usually stop at roughin em up a bit.

What do you have pierced on you?
Ear and nostril, left side.

Do you know of someone that is gay?
Quite a few someone’s. I DO live in VT…

Do you ever blow dry your hair?
HA YES.

What was the last baby you held?
Conner, Kathy and Fredrick’s little beast. Adorable! Wish they’d named him Thaddeus though…

Has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than mom?
Yeah.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Hmmm I don’t know… its been a while… who ever I saw V for Vendetta with last I guess.

Do you and your dad get along?
Usually.

Can you see a stuffed animal from where you're sitting?
Nope.

Have you taken a shower yet today?
Not yet but I plan to.


Do you wear sweatpants a lot?
I’m wearing them RIGHT NOW!

Do you wear white after Labor Day even though it's against the fashion rules?
I don’t even know when labor day is.

Do you like hoodies?
Usually no, sept for my prodigy one. Although you can barely read it, which sucks.

Do you straighten your hair?
Once. I ended up looking like Jesse so I stopped.

Are you organized or messy in school?
Ha. Well, I know what my notes mean…

Are you one of those people who never drink soda?
No… I probably should be though.

Do you drink coffee?
Very Very rarely.

Do you have trust problems?
Yep. Working on that.

Did you dress up on Halloween?
No. This year there is a grand plan to go as the Monarch and his two Fav henchmen, but I doubt that will come to fruition.

American Eagle or Hollister?
BE A FUCKING PERSON.

Do you miss your past?
Meh.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
Every now and again I worry I’m losing touch with a friend. Hopefully it’ll pick back up in the future.

Are there any people who don't like you?
Quite a lot.

Who knows you the best?
I certainly don’t/

Who is the last person to send you a message on myspace?
This guy who once set up a show for me at the Springfield VT high school. Don’t know him that well, but he was a pretty good DJ.

What's the connection between you and the last person to text you?
She threatened to hunt me down and cut of ma balls if I missed her Set at Res.

Where did you go in a car last?
Keene NH.

Who were you with?
My iPod.

Are you tan at all?
Noooo. I may have gotten a little red of exposure, but I don’t tan.

How old do people guess you are?
Usually early 20’s.

What were you doing four hours ago?
Sleeping. Aahhh….

Do you still talk to your friends from elementary school?
I guess? I never actually WENT to elementary school.

Would you rather have ice cream or cake for dessert?
Caaaakeeeeee.

Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?
A few people, yeah.

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?
No but SOMEBODY has my Got Damned sweat and I WANT IT BACK.

Is anyone mad at you?
Don’t know.

Look down, what do you see?
Wood. On my desk! THE DESK.

Look to the right, what's at the very end?
A BALLIN poster of marv from Sin City.

Be honest, who are you texting?
Nobody right now.

Is there someone you've had a crush on since the first time you met them?
A little…

What is something that you realized today?
I need to calm the fuck down. Just started school and my stress level shot from zero to stressed in like 10 seconds.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
I haven’t actually talked to anyone yet.

How late did you stay up last night? Why?
Only till like midnight. I was planning on staying up and watching City of Lost Children, but the version on demand was dubbed in English so I got bored and went to sleep.

So its been a while since I posted on one of these, I only JUST remember my password (woops).
Hopefully I'll start using this more often, I've recently got a bunch of friend adds that I'll have to go over.
ANyways, sorry for the LJ blackout.
-Cal

I was riding my bus home from school, as I am apt to do, and I was alone in the back, except for one man. For some unknown reason, I had decided to not listen to my ipod, as I normally did, and I could hear his quite clearly. I turned to look at him, to make sure I was not halucinating, and noticed he was sporting a very large dufflebag, as if he had traveled from a ways away. I turned away again, so as not to seem rude, but he noticed anyways, and used it as an opurtunity to start a conversation. He said to me "I like your hair do." a compliment I recieve every now and again, so I simply replied "thanks." A very short while later, he said to me "your very lucky to be living in this city." which I at first found a bit disconcerting, I didn't know if that was some kind of veiled threat, or if he was going to start lamenting about his terrible living conditions, or what was going on. But he continued "I never thought I would miss it here." so of course I enquired "where did you come from?" and he replied, "I just got back from a year and a half in Afghanistan. I used to hate this place as a kid, but now I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else." and he started to cry. It manifested itself if heavy sniffling, and that tremble of the lip that one gets trying to suppress a sob. I was honestly struck with nothing to say, so I offered him a tissue. he said "no man, I'm cool." and then he got off the bus.
That moment will stick in my mind for as long as my memory persists.

Current Mood: Awed

at the Springfield VT high school cafeteria from 7 till 10:30ish.
on February 29th, a friday, so mark your calenders and BE THERE or BE somewhere else. but you should be there.
and bring friends.
and FUCKIN DANCE!
also, its free. yes!
any questions, feel free to ask.
Laters, Sunny D 

Current Location: The home.
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: This album is sucking - Panzer AG

The Incomprehensible Being
Cal Glover-Wessel

There is a being I have witnessed that, through some strange twist of evolutionary fate, is able to move any which way through time, but through space can only move unceasingly forward. It lives a life parallel to our own, one where “day” and “year” and “month” have no meaning, but “wall” and “tree” are the true obstacles. Material possessions mean nothing to it, because when it moves, the object will either cease to exist, or never have been created. Rarely do you see it, and when you do your mind passes it off as little more then a flicker in the light, an optical illusion. I saw it, though, and recognized it for what it was.
“Will you walk with me?” I asked.
The being laughed and said “If I were to walk with you, in the sense that I use the phrase, this conversation would be meaningless to you, seemingly with out order or sense. See, now it is you who must walk with me.”
I did so, making sure to choose a path that would remain clear for the a good long time, so as not to cause the being any distress. We walked for a time at a steady pace, for the being was unable to do anything but.
After a while, I spoke.
“It amazes me that something could be created that could simply travel to any point in time it wishes, a power far greater then I possess.”
“Nonsense,” it replied, “I envy your abilities to step sideways, or even to stop. Ahh to stop! That would be beautiful. You see, I am rarely able to fully appreciate where I am.”
“Much,” I assured it, “Is the same for humans, only slightly different, you see.”
“I suspected as much.”
We walked in silence, broken only by the sounds of the ground underneath our feet.
Suddenly it spoke.
“When you move about as you do, is there ever danger of moving in such a way that could compromise your existence?”
“Of course,” I replied, “if I don’t pay attention, I could slip and injure myself, I could fall down a pit, get struck by another moving object.”   
It seemed fascinated at the possibility that two moving objects would ever collide, but before it was able to ask more questions about it, I asked my own.
“Is there a danger for you as well?” an oddly stated question, I know, but its hard to find your words in such a peculiar situation.
“Well, yes, there is always the danger of going to a time when you are not. Or coming to a place when something else already is, because you will cancel each other out.”
“I see…”
“No you don’t, but I will pretend you do, for both our sakes.”
We walked in silence again, this time longer then the last. On our path before us, I spotted a tree. My time was short, and this brought another question to mind.
“How will you get around it?”
“Simple, I will just go to a time when it isn’t there and continue on my way.”
When it said it like that, it was simple.
“I must be going now.” it stated.
“Good luck, then. Will we ever meet again?”
It glanced at me, briefly, for the first time on the walk.
“We always do.”
And with that, it began to fade.

Awake I have been now since before the creation of light, before the creation of the creator.
Awake now so long that I am bleary with infinite nights of sleeplessness and deception.
To Sleep in peace, for one as old as my self, is little more then a waking dream, the irony of which is not lost upon me.
Through my  wide open eyes I have seen the creation and destruction of a great many great things.
The birth of an uncomfortable number of entities.
But now if I could simply close those eyes of mine, I would be content to live the rest of my life ignorant of the universe, dreaming peacefully of things that have and will and will never be, to take part in the most wondrous of things, all to my own in my own thoughts so that no one ever will know of them.
Finally I feel the tug of endless nights puling down the covers on my mind.
Finally my night has come.
I Pray, eververse, that your endless light will never again shine upon my wide open eyes.

Current Location: home
Current Music: silence.